Meditations concerning What Is The Measure Of A Man: What Really Matters In Life

This Father's Day is the first without my father Arto Woodley, Sr. It caused me to reflect on the message I shared at his funeral two months ago. I was inspired by God to talk about, What Is The Measure Of A Man. Many roles and positions are confused today; none more than the role of men in our society. We have moved from the stoic providers of homes to marginalized and oft ridiculed as husbands and fathers. In this current haze of misunderstanding we have young men and boys growing up not really sure what they should be. Their roles as fathers, husbands, leaders, priest, providers and protectors are all up in the air.

When I remember Daddy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_IKORQWXrQ) I think of his Shop, Woodley Auto Repair. The smell of oil, gasoline and sawdust was surrounded by various cars that needed starters, motors, or thermostats. The phone was always ringing with next customer or someone who owed a bill and trying to make payments. I think of men of the Shop, Lucky, James, Cleve and Daddy's various friends like Louis who stopped by to get advice or shoot the breeze. The drives to Spuds Auto Part & Junkyard to pick up a used motor with the Isley Brother's song, Living For the Love of You playing on the eight track player. Trips to Detroit, Mississippi, Philadelphia visiting relatives in the summer rush back to mind. I remember all the cars the Blue 66 GTO Super Sport, the Cadillac Coupe DeVille, and the Red 66 Impala Convertible. I am reminded of his pride when he held his grandchildren for the first time like my son, Arto III. Then there is the last he saw Momma at her funeral and then his own funeral.

The following thoughts are reflections that have flooded my mind as I try to reconcile that the man we all knew as Arto Woodley, Sr. is no more. As I think about his untimely death at 67 I am forced to think about me and the current generation of young men as well as those who will follow us.

ALL MEN ARE IMPERFECT…

I know this is stating the obvious and it is worth reminding us that it is still true in this so called age of enlightened and super informed men with Ipods, Facebook, Internet and instant access to information. Information does not make us wiser it demonstrates that there is so much more for us to learn. Additionally, information does not equal wisdom. Wisdom and insight only come from the God. My admonition is for our mothers, wives, girlfriends to remember that we are still a work in progress and will be until the Day we meet the Lord. So provide us the grace and understanding you desire from God. When I stopped looking at my father as Daddy who was supposed to do this or that and began to see him as a man who was made in God's image and stained by the sin of this world I began my own true journey as a man.

IN PREPARING TO BURY DADDY I HAD TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR…
Forty-four is awfully young to be the head of a family, or at least that is how I felt. But, there I was burying a second parent in nine years and responsible for what is left of the family 3 younger brothers 15 nephews and nieces, my wife and two sons. In an instant I found myself in the unique position of being the namesake and now patriarch. I had to evaluate what God had accomplished in my life since leaving home at 18. Yes, He had taken me from a student who barely got into college to complete a Masters Degree and to become a seasoned urban leader equipping hundreds children. The question is had I done the best I could with the preparation my parents provided and the gifts God imparted. Even though I believe I have done the best I could the question remains what will I do with the rest of time God has allotted to me.

WHAT WILL BE MY ENDURING LEGACY, WHAT WILL GOD AND MY SONS SAY ABOUT ME…

The death of my father forced me to consider when my time comes what will be said of me. Here are the key questions I and I believe every man wrestles with:

How will I lead?

Every man has to look at what type of leader he is and evaluate if he will allow God's Spirit to correct him in those areas where he is short. I have many areas where God is reproving and improving me. I know the ability to lead is directly proportionate to our yielding to God's direction and correction. Immediately after the repast I called a meeting of the four sons, 17 grandchildren and the wives and mothers of those children. The purpose of the meeting was to announce that none of us could use what Daddy did and did not do as an excuse any longer. Additionally, to apologize to the children and their mother for where the four son have failed as men and fathers. Finally, I proclaimed that we will begin the process of supporting one another and that we expect each of the grandchildren to complete high school and pursue post secondary education. If our family is to move forward it must start with leadership with the current generation of men.

How will I overcome

adversity?

A man is known by how he handles pain and suffering. Who we are in pain and suffering is who we really are. Adversity brings out both the best and worst in us. As Job said in the Bible, "Will you accept good from God and not trouble?" I realize that difficulty is a marker of my growth in my walk with God and with people. The measure of a man's life is not in his ability to avoid trouble but, rather how he faces the trouble that comes in his life. This is a lesson I am still learning. How can I use adversity and trouble to bring glory to God and reveal the character of Christ is a key to the rest of my life.

Running

All men no matter how strong they are run. It could be sports, work, hobbies it does not have to be an extramarital affair or drinking. Another key to my journey is can I face the adversity and not try to avoid it. It is difficult for men when they face a troubled son or daughter, difficult marriage or lingering family conflict. The tendency is to forget about it, move on or throw ourselves into an activity or sport to sidestep the issue. I realize the battles that confront me are ones God wants me to fight and in His strength I can be victorious. The truth is souls are hanging in the balance and are counting on me to fight and win.

THE FATHERS WE HAVE ARE THE ONES GOD GIVES US...
In the final analysis the fathers we have are the ones God intended for us. I am thankful for my father Arto Woodley, Sr. His life embodied valuable lessons about manhood and life. Was he a, Father Knows Best father; no. He was a man who came from nothing in rural Mississippi who served admirably in Vietnam and went on to own his own business and raised a family. He had to wrestle with the same questions I grapple with today. Yes, there are so many situations and decisions I wish would have been different in my relationship with Daddy. Ultimately, I have to trust God's providence that He knows why He made us a family and use that family to incubate me. So in the end, for all the good and bad I have to say to God be the Glory and praise Him for my Daddy, Arto Woodley, Sr.

IN THE END REMEMBER...

God will evaluate our lives by our

Fulfillment Genesis 39:7-10

Friendships Proverbs 12:6, James 4:4

Finishing Genesis: 45: 1-8

For every Good Friday in your 
life there is a Easter or Resurrection Sunday

Fruit: John 15:5

Whose standards are you living by?