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Celebrating Fatherhood: Fulfiling the Blessing




What we do for ourselves dies with us - what we do for others remains 
and is immortal. Albert Pike


Three years ago I began this ongoing dialogue about fatherhood and my thoughts about it. I shared my reflections of fatherhood after the death of my father Arto Sr. April 2010. I noted that my enduring legacy as a father will be based upon three questions:
  1. How will I lead?
  2. How will I overcome adversity?
  3. Am I Running? 
Two years ago, I noted that we all need "many  fathers" to help us to become the men and people we are to become. If you look at the previous post I noted the significant men that helped mold me. As the Apostle Paul noted in 1 Corinthians 4:15 that we need "fathers" to help us mature and develop as people.

This year I enlisted the help of a few fathers I admire to share the blessing of fatherhood and conveying that blessing.  Here's what they said about their greatest opportunities, challenges and the legacy they want to leave. Each of their fatherhood situations are different and from their varied experiences this what they expressed.

Robert Setting the tone as a Father                                           

Fatherhood is all about identity. Even Jesus drew his own identity from his father John 8:42. So too, do we draw our person-hood from our natural fathers. Many people struggle in their adult lives because of their lack of connection and sense of identity with their fathers.

The media is full of stories of "deadbeat dads", children growing up without fathers and celebrities with children scattered across the Country.  The statistics are well documented about the costs of fatherlessness. 
  • Nearly 40% close to 20 million American children lived apart from their fathers in 2001
  • Children without their father in the home typically have:
    • Higher high school dropout rates
    • Live in poverty and welfare
    • Suffer from abuse or engage in delinquency
    • Marry early
  • Former Secretary of Health and Human Service, Louis Sullivan called fatherlessness, "the                                 greatest family challenge of our generation." (7 Secrets of Effective Fathers).

Having some place to go is home. Having someone is love is family. Having both is a blessing. Anonymous

The problems are well documented. What is the way forward? Here's what I believe.
  1. Men need to know how important their role as a father is and be taught that by older fathers.
  2. We need to teach every young father that primary role of the father is to point their children to the Father and give them an identity.  They are to be:
    1. Priests
    2. Providers
    3. Protectors
  3. If we want to redeem our cities we must resurrect and strengthen the role of the father.
  4. Fathers fulfill the "blessing" in the lives of their children by:
    1. Meaningful touch
    2. Spoken Words
    3. Attaching High Value
    4. Picturing a Special Future
    5. An Active Commitment to Fulfill the Blessing (The Blessing)


The following clip from the movie Blood Diamonds is a powerful example of a father reminding his son of who he is. Father in the movie Blood Diamonds blessing his son It is also powerful analogy of what God the Father does for us. Our earthly fathers are the first examples of God in our lives. 

The confusion we witness in the world is tied to people's ache for the love of a father to "bless" and affirm who God called them to be. Yes, fatherhood is difficult whether in marriage or single but it is one of the highest callings a man can fulfill. No, you don't have to be perfect just available and prepared to serve your children and their mother. There will be difficulty. Your strength  to fulfill your role is not physical but is in the One who called you to this role, God.

In my own life, my greatest fulfillment has been sharing with Tre' and Armand who they are in Christ, giving them a positive identity and blessing them. This will continue to be my greatest challenge and blessing; to be their father in good times and bad and loving them as they reach their God-given purpose.  Happy Father's Day! Make it a point to bless your children this year.  Check this campaign my friend Eugene Schneeberg, the Department of Justice Office of Faithbased Initiatives is promoting concerning positive fatherhood at This is Fatherhood. 


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